2019 and it's process

Well, it has been a while since I put anything up here, with any meaning.

My work flow exploded this year, after a suicide attempt, I have to add.

During this failed attempt to end my life, instead I reconnected with the kid in me,
that guided me trough this whole journey, from this attempt, up to this day

...it feels a bit like Modigliani's search for meaning, where the kid in him is found again, just playing around,
making it all right again, to live, to be, to exist.

It's a very strange thing to realize, experience, ...this whole process.

Not that I advocate suicide attempts, but I just can't shake away it's relevance, this whole process:

to seeing, feeling your inner child to be evoked again,
to reignite life itself

...a V from vendetta experience (or very similar) to say the least:

Since then, an explosion happened with works, experiences,

laughter also,
very similar with early experiences,

seeing my goals being achieved,

for instance on climate change change, and my scouting efforts to enable me to say that it is possible, to have a full life without all that co2 (and other) crap,
and that it is a continuous process, not really a goal

that it's ok not to have a giant following, even more so, being more of a "eïnzelganger", scouting it's way, for yourself, and potentially that of others.

And still, the psychology field and society is trying to change me, dismiss me as being a complete fruitcake,


And you simply care less and less around that, just "knowing", you are serving mankind with options, away from control,
into (self)exploration, and the results are simply

astonishing, endless, infinite,

as the space we are wandering in.

With the right moral compass, in to live and to let live,

it can be heaven alright :-)


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